What Do I Know About Video Games? The Esoteric Chris Quiz

Welcome to "What Do I Know About Video Games?" the writing sample that doubles as a trivia quiz. Imagine me, Chris Hepler, as your host. There are two parts to "What Do I Know About Video Games?" The first section is three true or false questions. The second section is seven multiple-choice questions, for a total possible score of 10 out of 10. Let's get started! [[Click to continue.->Wait Wait]]

Our first story of game development hell is titled... "The Frog March." When writing for an unreleased RPG utilizing the license to the classic game "Frogger," our superiors believed in first-hand research. The executive producer gathered the team for an outing in the nature preserve of Assateague, Virginia, one Sunday in March. This in itself might have been a noble pursuit, had the EP not insisted on trying to observe the American bullfrog singing its song in its natural habitat... during pre-dawn hours. Needless to say, attendance at this expedition was sparse, and pre-dawn hours in March in Virginia are bad enough even without the polar vortex driving temperatures down. The freezing morning meant there were no frogs or other cold-blooded animals, singing or otherwise. This led the team to joke that the Frogger RPG would soon be retitled "Cold and Sad-Looking Heron," the only animal they got a reference photo of the entire day, soon to be followed by a new game genre, the "hypothermia walking simulator." Does this sound like a true story of game development? [[Yeah, that probably happened.->Bluff 1 Vote Yes]] [[No way, I don't believe it.->Bluff 1 Vote No]]

As it turns out... ...you are correct! This snafu was an actual project by an actual cell phone software company that shall remain nameless. They went out of business soon after pulling the plug on the game, for reasons that remain mysterious... at least, to them. (set: $score to $score + 1) [[Click to continue.->Bluff 3]]

As it turns out... ...you are incorrect! This story is real! This snafu was an actual project by an actual cell phone software company that shall remain nameless. They went out of business soon after pulling the plug on the game, for reasons that remain mysterious... at least, to them. [[Click to continue.->Bluff 3]]

Our second story of game development hell is called: "Smells Like Teen Game Development" "Those kids and their cell phone games" were a thing as far back as 2004, when the company that hired me saw potential profit in them. Unfortunately, they generated the game engine before they knew anything about game design, leading to a number of stumbling blocks. The game was aimed at teens and had cute cartoon characters that the player could send off to do tasks for a few hours at a time, at which point they would come back with stories of what they did and give out friendship rewards. Unfortunately, the design of the game engine included no cheat codes to speed up time. This meant that every playtest took developers hours to accomplish the most basic tasks, as they would log in each morning and wait until noon to get results. This giant time sink also discouraged players from, you know, actually *playing*. They had no actions they could take that kept them busy in the game while waiting for their virtual friends to return. Since the 2004-era game engine could only produce pictures and text, the logical solution to make it profitable would to be to post nude pictures and have the text be talking dirty to the player. This being anathema to a Teen-rated game, the developers ran out of options and money, and pulled the plug. Does this sound like a real gamedev story? [[Yeah, that probably happened.->Bluff 2 Vote Yes]] [[No way, I don't believe it.->Bluff 2 Vote No]]

As it turns out... ...this story is not real! The fact-finding frog trip was entirely fictional. What executive producer gets up before dawn to tromp through a freezing marsh? That's the sort of thing writers would think of, not management! [[Click to continue.->Bluff 2]]

As it turns out... ...you are correct! The march in the marsh is entirely fictional, as is the whole concept of a Frogger RPG. Who wants to play a game where you croak all the time? (set: $score to $score + 1) [[Click to continue.->Bluff 2]]

Our next story is titled... "My Kingdom for a Revolver" Unknown to most, the famous franchise of "Age of Empires" was going to make the leap into the modern day battle royale genre. Titled "Age of Empires: Dawn of the Gun," the players would take the part of soldiers in the Napoleonic Wars and other exciting periods of history. Regrettably, the franchise's selection of weapons in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries was period-appropriate, meaning the primary ranged weapons were muskets. Players demanded historical accuracy, and yet were unable to find the fun in a two-minute downtime as their avatar stood still and rammed a steel rod down their weapon to pack in gunpowder and shot. In early playtests, some devs tried to make Napoleonic firing lines, but this soon turned impractical for players who didn't have 39 friends logging in simultaneously. The determined playtesters suggested "Dawn of the Gun" should have been retitled "Dawn of the Bayonet Charge," which was problematic because the company had already announced the game's working title. The executives in charge of the game supported it fully until the day they actually played it, and realized the bind they were in. Then poof, it was relegated to the ash heap of history. Does this sound like a true story of game development? [[Yeah, that probably happened.->Bluff Vote 3 Yes]] [[No, I don't believe it.->Bluff Vote 3 No]]

As it turns out... This story is entirely fictional! Or, it is to the best of our knowledge. We don't *think* anyone's tried a Napoleonic shooter, but game development being what it is, you never know. Heck, there have been shooting games about zombies in the Old West and dinosaurs in World War 2, so if you don't like this state of affairs, wait five minutes and it is likely to change. [[How did I do?->Results Screen]]

As it turns out... You are correct! This story is fictional. Usually, fundamental combat design problems like these are solved by completely ignoring historical accuracy. The most pressing "reality" a designer focuses on is the reality of players giving up on the game because it's not fun. Of course, this kind of thinking also produces video games about zombies in the Old West and dinosaurs fighting in World War 2, so your mileage may vary. (set: $score to $score + 1) [[How did I do?->Results Screen]]

Your score is $score out of 3! We'll move on to the next section. It's now time for our video game trivia quiz, "The Console-Ation Prize." Seven questions will follow, they are multiple choice. Be warned, not all of them involve video game consoles, because we fought in the Console Wars and don't want to trigger our post-Playstation stress disorder, or "PS3D." [[Click to proceed.->Console 1]]

For your first question... Which 1980s arcade game had a song written about it that reached #9 on the Billboard Top 100 chart? [[Space Invaders->Console 1 Wrong]] [[Centipede->Console 1 Wrong]] [[Pac-Man->Console 1 Right]] [[Donkey Kong->Console 1 Wrong]]

Incorrect! The band "Buckner & Garcia" leapt to very brief fame for their song "Pac-Man Fever" in 1981. They did have several other songs on the album of the same name that featured other video games, including Donkey Kong, Berzerk, Asteroids, and Centipede. Unknown to many, a sequel album was planned for 1982 called "So, Mom, Here Are Those Quarters I Owe You." [[Click for the next question.->Console 2]]

Correct! The band "Buckner & Garcia" leapt to very brief fame for their song "Pac-Man Fever" in 1981. They did have several other songs on the album of the same name that featured other video games, including Donkey Kong, Berzerk, Asteroids, and Centipede. Unknown to many, a sequel album was planned for 1982 called "So, Mom, Here Are Those Quarters I Owe You." (set: $score to $score +1) [[Click for the next question.->Console 2]]

Which buxom video game heroine had her, ahem, "distinctive physique" created by a programming error that the team then stuck with? [[Mario Brothers' Princess Peach->Console 2 Wrong]] [[Tomb Raider's Lara Croft->Console 2 Right]] [[Metroid's Samus Aran->Console 2 Wrong]] [[Resident Evil's Jill Valentine->Console 2 Wrong]]

Incorrect! The correct answer is Lara Croft. Programmer Nigel West said that a simple error in one of thousands of lines of code led to Lara Croft's bosomy appearance in the original Tomb Raider. The team kept the unintended appearance, figuring it would not negatively impact the reception of the game. You may insert your own "rounding error" jokes here. [[Click for the next question.->Console 3]]

Correct! Programmer Nigel West said that a simple error in one of thousands of lines of code led to Lara Croft's bosomy appearance in the original Tomb Raider. The team kept the unintended appearance, figuring it would not negatively impact the reception of the game. You may insert your own "rounding error" jokes here. (set: $score to $score +1) [[Click for the next question.->Console 3]]

Before the invention of video games, what famous game company originally got its start creating playing cards? [[Nintendo->Console 3 Right]] [[Activision->Console 3 Wrong]] [[Electronic Arts->Console 3 Wrong]] [[Atari->Console 3 Wrong]]

Correct! Nintendo was founded in 1889, and produced handmade playing cards for the Japanese card game *hanafuda*. They turned to video games in the 1970s, and no doubt its founders would be very surprised that the company was valued at over 37 billion US dollars in 2018. That's called making money in spades. (set: $score to $score +1) [[Click for the next question.->Console 4]]

Incorrect! The correct answer was Nintendo. Nintendo was founded in 1889, and produced handmade playing cards for the Japanese card game *hanafuda*. They turned to video games in the 1970s, and no doubt its founders would be very surprised that the company was valued at over 37 billion US dollars in 2018. That's called making money in spades. [[Click for the next question.->Console 4]]

Which video game series starts with the player in a street gang and graduates to them as an alien-fighting, superpowered President of the United States? [[Double Dragon->Console 4 Wrong]] [[Grand Theft Auto->Console 4 Wrong]] [[Mass Effect->Console 4 Wrong]] [[Saints Row->Console 4 Right]]

Incorrect! The correct answer is Saints Row. The Saints Row series has gotten more parodical with each installment, and Saints Row IV includes the vaporization of Earth and a shout-out to Jane Austen. This is a natural outgrowth of the narrative, because had Jane known about power armor, we like to think she totally would have kitted out Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in it. [[Click for the next question.->Console 5]]

Correct! The Saints Row series has gotten more parodical with each installment, and Saints Row IV includes the vaporization of Earth and a shout-out to Jane Austen. This is a natural outgrowth of the narrative, because had Jane known about power armor, we like to think she totally would have kitted out Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in it. (set: $score to $score +1) [[Click for the next question.->Console 5]]

In the late 1980s to 1990s, designers Ken and Roberta Williams ushered in an era of point-and-click adventure games with an emphasis on puzzles over reflexes. Which company made their games? [[Electronic Arts->Console 5 Wrong]] [[Sierra On-Line->Console 5 Right]] [[Double Fine Productions->Console 5 Wrong]] [[Microprose->Console 5 Wrong]]

Incorrect! The era of point-and-click graphic adventure games that solved puzzles was spearheaded by the company Sierra On-Line. These included series such as *King's Quest*, *Police Quest*, *Space Quest*, *Quest for Glory*, and *Leisure Suit Larry*. Why the character Larry never rated a "quest" title is only immediately obvious once you meet him. [[Click for the next question.->Console 6]]

Correct! Sierra On-Line was responsible for many point-and-click graphic adventure games that solved puzzles. These included series such as *King's Quest*, *Police Quest*, *Space Quest*, *Quest for Glory*, and *Leisure Suit Larry*. Why the character Larry never rated a "quest" title is only immediately obvious once you meet him. (set: $score to $score +1) [[Click for the next question.->Console 6]]

Now that both sections are done, let's tally up all the points and see just how much esoteric game knowledge you retain... or how good you are at guessing based on the wording of the questions. Your score is $score out of 10! That's better than 90% of people who take this quiz and 100% better than the bogus statistics made up for this sentence. But hopefully the lie made you feel good for a second there. We now return you to your regularly scheduled writing samples. Thank you for playing, and we hope you learned something. The End.

Computer role-playing games started with games similar in concept and rules to the tabletop RPG Dungeons & Dragons. After games like *Wizardry* and *The Bard's Tale* found success, the owners of Dungeons & Dragons, TSR, created official licensed games that came in a standardized gold-colored box. Which of these games came first? [[Pools of Darkness->Console 6 Wrong]] [[Secret of the Silver Blades->Console 6 Wrong]] [[Curse of the Azure Bonds->Console 6 Wrong]] [[Pool of Radiance->Console 6 Right]]

Incorrect! The first of the "gold box" games was *Pool of Radiance*, starting the player characters at level 1 and allowing them to be imported to its sequels which demanded that characters begin at higher levels. It was possible to bring your characters through all four games, though there was a risk factor of transfer error or death by toxic levels of nerddom in your bloodstream. [[On to the last question!->Console 7]]

Correct! The first of the "gold box" games was *Pool of Radiance*, starting the player characters at level 1 and allowing them to be imported to its sequels which demanded that characters begin at higher levels. It was possible to bring your characters through all four games, though there was a risk factor of transfer error, or death by toxic levels of nerddom in your bloodstream. (set: $score to $score +1) [[On to the last question!->Console 7]]

In 2012, a massively multiplayer online game was canceled, disappointing its fans that struggled to save the game. Unknown to the public, a secret cabal of devs who worked on the game and dedicated fans managed to save the game's source code. In 2019, news leaked out that they had set up private servers and had been playing the game in secret for the past seven years. The servers were opened to the public once more, and now the game is available for free. Which game was it? [[Asheron's Call->Console 7 Wrong]] [[Auto Assault->Console 7 Wrong]] [[City of Heroes->Console 7 Right]] [[This would never happen, no way!->Console 7 Wrong]]

Incorrect! The game was and now *is* City of Heroes. As of 2019, the former manufacturer and copyright holder, NCSoft, has no plans to sue the fan groups running the game, nor send cease and desist notices. It has not escaped the players that of all video game genres, a superhero game is the most appropriate to come back from the dead because a bunch of rabid fans demanded it. [[That's the last question, let's check the results!->Console Results]]

Correct! City of Heroes (and its expansion, City of Villains) is now playable on several different servers, each maintained by groups of fans. As of 2019, the former manufacturer and copyright holder, NCSoft, has no plans to sue or send cease and desist notices. It has not escaped the fan base that of all video game genres, a comic book superhero game is the most appropriate to come back from the dead because a bunch of rabid fans demanded it. (set: $score to $score +1) [[That's the last question, let's check the results!->Console Results]]

We begin with "Wait, Wait, You Did What?" our stories from Game Development Hell. Some video games are quick and easy to write, program, and test. We call these games "entirely fictious." The rest of them require the sweat of an army of developers. Many of them never make it to actual publication. I have worked on more of these unfortunate games than I'd like, and now you get to hear their stories! But to mix it up, some of these stories of games that were never released are fake, and some of them are real. It's up to you to sort out which is which. Ready? (set: $score to 0) [[Click to continue.->Bluff 1]]